The Building, by Andrew Galland
"Such a long way down." His mind finally
caught on a thought. "I wonder what I would think of on the
way down. Flying through the air." His mind jumped to
all different possibilities. He had heard stories of entire lives
flashing before peoples eyes in those final seconds. Would that happen
to him. Maybe he would just enjoy the entire ride down. Wouldn't
that be great. Five seconds of the most incredible thrill ride ever.
No seat belt, no safety harness, no hope.
His mind continued to jump around. "Maybe
I could fly. If I just believe hard enough, maybe I will just take
off into the sky like a bird. Who's to say it couldn't happen."
But he knew he never could. Not in this world. Things didn't
happen like that in this world. In his mind, yes, there they did.
He could fly anywhere, do anything, how often he would retreat inward,
where everything was clear and perfect.
A solitary seagull caught an updraft and came
to a rest by his side. It looked at him curiously. Perhaps
it mistook the note in his hand, with only the words "I love you all",
for a piece of bread. Maybe it knew more than anyone thought it could.
Perhaps it was here to console him and show him the way. But no,
it flew away, as quickly as it had come. He felt bad for the bird.
Even in his final moments, he knew that he had more in this world that
the bird could ever imagine. It too would be dead soon. Perhaps
it would be eaten, or murdered by some young child playing with AlkaSeltzer
tablets.
Alas, it was almost time. Already the first
of the police cars had shown up. It sat on the road beneath the building
with its lights turning brightly. The officer had just gotten out
of the car and was looking up, shielding his eyes from the sun, trying
to see him. The car was right in his path. The officer seemed
to notice this too, and thought for a second about moving the car, then
rethought that that wasn't the right message to send to him. "Still,
if I push off hard enough, I should be able to clear it. Don't forget
to time your jump though. You wouldn't want to hurt anyone else."
His mind wandered again to the beautiful view
laid out before him. He had never felt so safe, even though he was
staring down forty stories. He laughed to himself about how odd the
skyscrapers looked when horizontal. He wondered if he could look
into the people's rooms as he past them buy. Maybe he would get a
quick glimpse of a couple in the act, or maybe a new born baby, resting
in its mother's arms. The second seemed more fitting. He imagined
that the baby would share his name…just another one of those many coincidences
this world holds.
There was a knock on the door, and he could here
his name being called. Now it was truly almost time. "How
could they know my name. It must have been Mrs. Obenhyer who called."
He could picture her now, crying in her apartment. He felt so bad
for them all. He didn't want any of them to be hurt, he just didn't
belong here.
The door fell with a crash, and the police officer
came quickly in. The officer had his hand on his gun, though it wasn't
drawn. The officer's name tag read "Officer Mitchell",
but he decided that John fit him better. John was talking to him
now, coming closer with every word. He quickly interrupted, trying
to give himself as much time as possible. His mouth was working its
wonders, trying to soothe Officer John, to convince him to stay back.
He knew that Officer John did not understand though.
He listened now as John tried to convince him
of everything that he would be leaving behind. John tried to soothe
him with thoughts of loved ones and the promise of getting help.
John didn't realize though, that he was just making this easier.
There was no turning back now, he knew that more than ever. He could
not stop now, or he would end up in an institution, forever "getting
help" from people who claimed to care. Why couldn't everyone
just see that this was right. Why did they think that they knew what
was best for him, when even he did not know. So he tried…
"You don't understand Officer John."
Officer Mitchell looked a bit perplexed. "This is the right thing.
I don't belong here. This world is wonderful. I love my family
and my friends. My life is great in so many ways, but I don't belong
here. I belong in the world of my dreams. In places that you
have never heard of, and never will. There, and only there will I
find peace. There, and only there will I be able to live."
But he was right, Officer John didn't understand.
The Officer took a couple steps closer. He tried once again.
"Please Officer John. Just give me five minutes. Don't
come any closer. Let me just think. If I haven't come to a
conclusion in five minutes, then you can come get me, no fuss. If
I have, well then I only ask that you realize I have done what is best."
Officer John thought this over. The nodding of his head said fine,
but his eyes said something different.
And so he turned and looked down the street, and
there was no one coming. He looked out in front of him, gave one
hard push, and he was flying. On the way down his mind continued
to wander. It no longer wandered through the thoughts of the view
though. No it flashed through all of the people in his life.
It caught on old friends and dear family. Faces of old loves and
crushes passed quickly by, each taking with it a piece of his heart.
His life did not flash before his eyes, he did not see a baby in the window,
there was no bird to fly to the ground with him, but still he felt at peace.
He did not know what was to come and he did not care. He had finally
done something, anything, the thing he knew he had to do.
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Created by Andrew Galland
agalland@mit.edu
Last updated: 4/7/97